Tomorrow belongs to the Red Nemesis Dog Co-operation of Interests

To view Connor's monthy article in Boardseeker Magazine click here: Mentor and Student, with Jem Hall

Streaming of consciousness in the infinite freedom of self

 

From Knowledge…

 

Nexus 

Abstract to Reality,

Displaced Knowledge,

Truth seeker.

 

Denial of Knowledge,

Or observation of self?

 

Ignores and denies my life.

 

From the fire of the Phoenix,

the Future shall be reborn,

but only from Reality.

 

Are you a God?

 17/12/97

Ode to Joy

Ethereal essence of life.

Cheating replication and dulled by the repeated access of memories.

Surprising in its random sources and catalysts,

It alone motivates and regenerates.

Fed by your expectation of unique future sensations.

You yearn for experiences and random opportunity beyond the mundane,

                                you drive your optimism.

Beware the artificial and the induced,

                                avoid the polarisation and magnetism of isolated sensuality.

Joy is borne of innocence.

 Cherish it.

 It is your salvation.

9/12/97

Black or White?

Eight colours…or not?

Twirling.

Imagined sensitivities,

layers of existence deny expectations.

Having found…remember, lost sensations.

To establish, in the immediate, 

a Void, 

is rare.

A secret,

not shared

defines and determines the reality of desire.

Motivation

Ignorance,

drives risk to addiction.

Is survival extremism?

What is normal?

The opportunities for fulfilment,       

                                                                are eclipsed by an absence of creativity.

Undisciplined energy obscures reason.

Old age has no place in imagination.

Imminent shutdown confirmed,

my actions,

define the inevitable.

Thanks for the opportunity!

Rights removed.

Regrets denied.

What is normal?

Disappointment

Sharing.

                Motivated by gratification.

Expectation of reaction.

                Damned and dashed on the coastline of an imagined and non-existent land.

Construction, by definition, facilitates destruction.

Of what?

                You demand examples?

Dream.

                Be carried along by the wings of your imagination and position yourself.

Stretch out your consciousness and collect your materials.

Mould and form them,

                                                add texture.

Smell, see, feel and hear the experience.

                Place it in time and space.               

                                Add observational trivia for realism.

Do you know what you have created?

Strengthen your sphere of knowledge…it is your marker in your sand.

View it from many positions, using all your agility in all dimensions.

Enjoy these moments…

Enhanced awareness allows you to view more facets

Savour the moment when absolute proof will be given to you.

Understand that satisfaction approaches,

Understand that satisfaction will soon be yours, as the sharing of your precious, tested, indestructible sphere is unveiled.

The trust,

the laying open of all defences.

Are respectively vaporised and exploited by Circumstance.

(Circumstance:

 ‘rationalisation of all the reasons

 why it was always reasonable

 for it not to happen’)

Nothing.

No gratification.

No reaction.

(Unreasonable expectation: 

‘a reaction that requires that you are 

not alone’)

Motivation and expectation.

Made impossible,

by the lack of capacity to share.

You have chosen to forget

your absolute

On Judgement day

Who will your gods choose for your eternal partner?

Your partner must also have your alter-ego

Unto infinity

Remove yourself from your selfishness

And understand that a preferred partner

May well be based on the nano-percentage

Of someone else's need.

In heaven such matching would be based on what?

On joy, pleasure, well-being, synergy, ecstasy…

In loving, and 

if that love is reciprocated, and

the sum of that love is great

Yet if you are loved

By another...

Albeit unrequited

And that love is greater than our love

Then we are damned

If Love is the measure

So, in loving and

believing in love, and 

in believing in eternity

How must I love

And be loved?

I must tear open my soul

My heart

My self

I must hope and trust that my eternal partner

Will protect and defend my soul

Will integrate and amplify

Give of themselves

Totally

And so

I must know faith?

And in knowing

I must leap

As I leap

Prepare to catch me

For I am yours

LIKE

Discontent

         swarms our minds, and

                            renders us in conflict,

in sadness,

            in a dis-equilibrium of malcontent.

Yet, I remember...

    Cat's climbing walls, and

southern stairways of ecstasy when all had gone except us.

I remember,

silk on our wedding day,

a baby crying.

Your smiles on a Scottish beach.

Our Love,

            making us one.

Our Fear,

            making us two.

Love and Like.

I love you.

                    ...and even when I cannot always find the reality which knows the truth,

        even in the turbulence of the fragile balance of our

emotions, I know that I like you.

I know,

                that I cannot exist without you.

I know,

            that you are everything and all things, and that,

Nothing,

                is to be without you.

I will love you beyond this life